I’m going to let you in on a little secret, Strippers get periods too!
“But how do you dance naked while bleeding from your uterus” you ask? Don’t worry, I’m going to share my best period hacks with all of you!
Like most women, I can’t afford to take time off when I’m on my period and I’ve actually discovered that I make more money when it’s that time of the month. There are a lot of theories as to why women make bank on their period but I actually think it’s because my boobs are slightly bigger and I’m straight to the point with customers in fear that I might actually kill them. (If you have any scientific facts as to why this is please drop them in the comments).
If you’re not an exotic dancer but you do have a menstrual cycle, these hacks can totally work for you too! Going to the beach? The gym? Do you have a pole performance or a photo shoot coming up? I’ve got you covered!
So fasten your seat belt and lets go!
Take an ibprufen: Taking an NSAID (non-steroidal anti inflammatory) is great for period pain but it can also reduce menstrual bleeding making your period lighter.
Have the right supplies: You won’t be able to wear a pad at work for obvious reasons but you do have other options. My go to are tampons, I advise cutting the string off before inserting for maximum period disguise. I learned the hard way that tampon strings glow under UV light.
If tampons aren’t your thing, you could try a moon cup. Moon cups are made from medical grade silicone and are better for you as there are no nasty fragrances or chemicals. They’re also reusable which is better for the environment, your health and your wallet!
On lighter days you could try using period underwear like THINX. They are super comfortable and come in lots of different styles! You can check them out here.
Wear Black: Even with the best planning and preparation we can still have little accidents. Wearing black is a great disguise and is better for peace of mind. I Also recommend taking regular toilet breaks to check for any leakage.
Carry baby wipes: I always have baby wipes packed in my work bag. They are great for freshening up on the go and they can be used in between dances. I also like to take my make up off after my shift so that I can literally fall in to bed when I get home.
Treat yourself: Sometimes life is difficult when you have your period, so pat yourself on the back, you are amazing and you deserve an after work treat. Eat the pizza, eat the chocolate and drink the tea because you did such a good job!
Stay home: Although it’s not always ideal, sometimes you need a break. Being an independent contractor means you CAN take time off every now and then. Your chances of making money are slim when your head isn’t in the game so allow yourself to have a night off.
Now that you know how to survive the club on your period, I encourage you to go forth and make all of the money. You are a goddess and men will fall at your feet, offering up the contents of their wallets to you.
Do you have any tips and tricks for working on your period? Leave a comment below!